Cut Up Angels -Bert/Gee-

It's been a year.
One whole year since he last spoke to Gerard, and Bert spoke to Gerard, and the pair of them are oth miserable because of it. Then, not wanting to lose the years of friendship and not-so-secret love they'd shared Gerard books My Chem on a tour. A tour they'd be sharing with the Used. Hey, things can only get better right?

Bert - Me
Quinn - Spitfire
Jepha - Me
Branden - Spitfire
Gerard - Spitfire
Mikey - Me
Frank - Spitfire
Bob - Me
Ray - Spitfire

One year.
One whole fucking year.
Why did it have to seem ike so much longer?
These were all things going through Berts mind the day the official lineup was announced. At first he'd been appalled, even angry that that man would DARE show his face on the same circuit as him. Hadn't he made it perfecly clear he wanted nothing to do with him? If he was going to ditch him along with the alcohol and drugs then, well, mabe he didn;t need that type around.
Of course, then Quinn had sugested they share fucking transport and ruined ANY idea of staying away from the white haired dick. He didn't vcare if the rest of their bands were friends,he was SO not doing this, so not standing here in a car park at 3AM ready to set of, so not only inches way from his former lover.
Oh dear lord...

A year. An entire fucking year.
Gee missed Bert- he felt a little embarrassed to admit it, but it wa strue. But he'd moved on since then- he was mature now.
But if he was so mature then why had this year hurt so bad?

Bert busied himself with pacing and smoking, gllowering at the space in front of him. WHy? he asked himself again Why did he agree to thi? Why would he think this was a god idea? How drunk was he? This was his last thought before he acctally walked into the one man he did not need to see.

Gee smiled, vampire white under bleached hair. 'Hey there, Bert.' Oh, god, he was still so beautiful after all this time. Looking at him now, Gerard couldn't remember how he'd let Bert go. 'Long time no see.'

Bert glowered up at him, hating his short stature at that moment "What do you want?" he snapped frostily, glaring away in the opposite direction , ot across the parking lot.

Gee held his hands up in surrender. 'Okay, okay, I was just saying hi. Jesus, Bert, can't I talk to an old... aquaintance?'

Bert glanced across at him, pain flashing in his eyes. So Gerard woudln;t even call him an ex? All he'd ever be to the world was a friend that had left. He droopped the still lit cigerate on the ground and crushed is with more vigour than was needed under his foot.
"You can say whatever you like if you stopped lying and being so goddamn p yourself about eing sober" he snapped, not wanting to say the first statement on it's own, it would look so damn NEEDY.

Now pain flashed in Gerard's eyes. 'I thought you'd be proud of me. Did you want me to die?" he shook his head. 'You know what, fuck this, Bert. If you're not adult enough to see what we had was in the past, and move beyond it, then screw you. I just thought I'd say hi. I should've fucking saved my breath.' he turned away and stalked off.

"I'M SO FUCKING SORRY I LO-" he cut himself off, mentally slapping himself. Don;t admit you love him, that was rle one! if he admitted he loved him he didn't have any power over Gerard anymore...

Jepha sighed and glanced at Frank "Well, this should be fun"

Frank sniffed "Hm, yeah, this should be a blast."

Bert stormed over, rumbling about 'that white haired ponce' and 'stupid sellout prick' along with several other expletives. He walked straight past everyone and went into the tourbus.

Mikey groaned "Well, lets head off"

"Sure..." Ray watched Gee try to strike up conversaton with Bert again, Bert replying with words even HE didn't know.
This was gonna be a looong drive...

Bert buried his face in a handheld console, he was pretty sure he'd made what he thought of Gerard erfectly clear...

0-le skip-

Gas stops. He hated gas stops, it always meant everybody had to fuck around going to the toilet, then everybody wanted something differnt to eat and then- he felt a hand on his back and his head snapped around to face Gerard "What do you want?"

Gee smiled 'I thought you might like some coffee. It's your favourite.' He waved it in frnt of him. 'Also, I need to talk to you. Truce?'

Bert took the coffee grudginly "I guess" he said bitterly "I just, you didn't have to throw me away like taht"

"I know. And I regret what I did to you, I really do. I was a dick. But I'm okay now, I'm clean, I have a beautiful wife, and I really just want my friend back. I want to call the past the past. I don't wanna ruin this tour- it's a good gig, I can't let anyone else down. I am truly sorry, Bert. I did love you." he put a hand on his shoulder. "Can you forgive me?"

Bert looked away and gave a shrug. He didn't know if he COULD forgive Gerard, he'd held onto the anger and pain for so long it seemed a part of him now. He closed his eyes for a second before speaking again, not wanting to cry aain this time.
"You never told me you got married" he managed.

Gerard sighed, for a moment so far away. "Yes. A beautiful girl named Lyn-z. She's... God, she means the world to me." He dragged himself back into the resent. "I wrote to you, I told you in the letters I sent. You never replied."

Means the world to you, in a way I never did? thought Bert sadly "I didn't look at them, I didn;t want to hear anythin you ahd to say if it wasn't drunken at 3AM on my doorstep" he forced a smile, only semi joking. He could still remember waiting around for days to see if Gerard would turn up, say he'd made a mistake, find that with=drawal was too hard and he wanted to crash at Berts for a while again...

"I would have done that... if I'd kown you wanted me to." Nnonononono don't say it you bastard don't ruin his life again. "I missed you, angel."

The last word stung "Don't- don't call me that" Bert said, even whimpering slightly at the pain. He wanted to pull the older man close, kiss him needily and tangle his hands in his hair once again but forced himself to stand stiill. Gerard was different now, he was older, sober, married, he'd want to do the whole wife, house with a garden, 2.5 kids thing...

Gee sighed. "Okay. O...okay. I want to be your friend, Bert. I wish I'd never let you go. You'll always be my angel." he leaned forward and kissed Bert, softly, on the cheek.

Bert sueezed his eyes shut, a tear escaping him at the kiss.

"Oh, Bert, angel, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... we'll be okay. It'll all be okay." Bert said nothing, just crying. "I'm sorry,"he finished lamely.
There was a beautiful, sacred silence then, like the beginning of something, like a star falling to earth, or an angel being born. As Gee whispered "I never stopped loving you," he wanted to stay forever with Bert in this tiny gas station.